by Judith Stafford | Jun 6, 2022 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Self-Help
“Intuition is seeing with the soul” - Dean Koontz Growing up, I never really had much time for intuition. I thought it was all ‘woo-woo’ and nonsense, one of those supposed feminine qualities that made us irrational. Therefore, I never really thought about developing mine. But, as I got older, I embraced my ‘woo’ side and realised that we all have intuition. Therefore, not using it is like ignoring one of your senses. What is intuition? We have all had that gut feeling or hunch about someone. Intuition is sometimes referred to as the sixth sense. One dictionary definition describes it as an ‘unexplained feeling that something is true without evidence or proof’. I don’t think that is quite true. So much of our brain’s processes go on at an unconscious level. Our subconscious mind takes in and processes so much more information than we consciously realise. All that data is stored away for further use if needed. This means that intuition isn’t just a random thought or feeling. It is tapping in on information based on past knowledge stored in our subconscious. While different to critical analytical thinking, it is just as valuable. How does it work, and why does it matter? Intuition is a physical sensation often but not always felt in the chest or stomach area. For some people, it is manifested in feelings of anxiety or nausea. It is that nagging thought that you just can’t shake or something feels right or wrong, and you are unsure why. Intuition has a purpose as part of our survival mechanism. It allows for fast responses to stimuli...
by Judith Stafford | May 4, 2022 | Becoming a Wise Woman
We are happier, more confident and know our value. Now I am in my 50s, I can see that there are so many misconceptions and negative stereotypes around getting older, especially for women. Menopause is the most noticeable aspect of ageing for a woman, but in reality, it is the expectations of society that are more of a handicap. These are slowly changing, but we still have a long way to go before they finally die out. Sadly, many women still believe these outdated and harmful myths. Here are five myths about women entering middle age and why they are rubbish. 1. Older women have little to offer employers The idea that once our reproductive days are over, our value to society is diminished is particularly offensive. It is bad enough that women face prejudice in the workplace because they might have children, but then to experience it again as we get into our 50s is a double insult. Especially as it is then that many women really come into their own. Why is this stereotype so pervasive, I wonder? After all, by the time we get to 50, we will have many roles. Most of us will have careers, may have married and had a family and may also be caring for elderly relatives. We have a wealth of experience behind us, which should be valued instead of dismissed. In some ways, to some extent, this may be true. But not because we are not good at our jobs. Instead, I think the real issue is that our values change as we get older. The things that seemed...
by Judith Stafford | Feb 15, 2022 | Becoming a Wise Woman
It is time to embrace the Wise Woman. Looking around, I see many of my contemporaries, women over 50, eagerly reclaiming their power. Older women are refusing to fade into the background. Instead, we are using our experience and wisdom to create a better life for everyone. When I was younger, I didn’t notice how older women were treated. My mother and her friends didn’t appear oppressed; they just got on with their lives. She and a friend travelled around the world in their 60s, so I didn’t see getting older as a handicap. But as I got older myself, I noticed the misogyny, prejudice and negative stereotypes experienced by women as they aged. This really annoyed me. Getting older doesn’t seem to hold men back. They are still respected and considered sexy, even with grey hair and a paunch! The same cannot be said for women. Things are slowly changing. If you look around, you will see many more women over 50 in positions of power and influence. We are also more visible in the media, but there is still a long way to go. In response to this and my journey into middle age, I created the Ancient Wisdom of Women. As a woman in midlife, I am no longer prepared to fade into the background as I get older. I am determined that older women should take our rightful place in society as wise elders. What is a wise woman? The Wise Woman archetype can be found throughout many cultures and religions. She is often seen as a powerful, wise figure who can help and guide...
by Judith Stafford | Sep 8, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Making Midlife the Best Time Ever When I started writing about being in my 50s, I couldn’t find a word that I liked to describe my age. The ones I did see were not very inspiring: Middle-aged (often used as an insult for being dull and boring) Mid-life (associated with ‘crisis’) Mature (what, like a cheddar?) Menopausal or even worse, Post-Menopausal (yuk, far too clinical) Crone (too old and warty) Which is when I decided on ‘wise woman’. I don’t really want to be any of the above, but I do quite like being a wise woman. Then, as I looked at what a wise woman was, I found that many images came to mind. A healer or midwife A shaman or medicine woman A Fairy Godmother An elder stateswoman or leader A witch or crone They all represent an older woman with a certain amount of skill and power, so I knew I was onto a winning name. So now, I want to reclaim the title wise woman for all women at or past menopause. Women living their best lives If you look up the word wisdom, it means ‘someone who has the experience, knowledge and good judgement.’ But I would also include the following as traits of the wise: Being authentic and trusting your intuition Learning from your mistakes Being independent and resourceful Open to learning new things They are non-judgemental as they are aware that they are not perfect Wanting to work for the common good rather than self-interest It is not easy to follow this path, and we will often fall short, but that does...
by Judith Stafford | Aug 17, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Six Things to do in midlife - whether you’re having a crisis or not! I think getting older has its benefits. It may not feel like it if you are going through the physical and emotional upheaval of perimenopause. But midlife isn’t just about menopause, it brings life changes that we should embrace and take full advantage of. In a recent post, I wrote about what not to do if you were having a midlife crisis. This post lists several things that I think you should be doing instead. The list isn’t definitive, I’m sure there are many more, but here are some suggestions for you to think about. 1. Define your own happiness As we get older priorities often change. The things that might have made you happy before, your job, buying new things or dedicating your time to bringing up a family may alter. Children leave home (hopefully!), jobs become less satisfying and the joy of consumerism dims. And that is ok, it is natural for things to change. But it is not always easy for us to know how to adapt when they do. You may feel guilty because you feel you should be happy with what you have got, especially if it was what you thought you always wanted. Or you may be aware of a desire for change but unsure of what to do about it and you are feeling stuck. Either way, the first thing you need to do is to accept that we all change and that it is ok to want something different. Then you need to decide what it is...
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