by Judith Stafford | Feb 15, 2022 | Becoming a Wise Woman
It is time to embrace the Wise Woman. Looking around, I see many of my contemporaries, women over 50, eagerly reclaiming their power. Older women are refusing to fade into the background. Instead, we are using our experience and wisdom to create a better life for everyone. When I was younger, I didn’t notice how older women were treated. My mother and her friends didn’t appear oppressed; they just got on with their lives. She and a friend travelled around the world in their 60s, so I didn’t see getting older as a handicap. But as I got older myself, I noticed the misogyny, prejudice and negative stereotypes experienced by women as they aged. This really annoyed me. Getting older doesn’t seem to hold men back. They are still respected and considered sexy, even with grey hair and a paunch! The same cannot be said for women. Things are slowly changing. If you look around, you will see many more women over 50 in positions of power and influence. We are also more visible in the media, but there is still a long way to go. In response to this and my journey into middle age, I created the Ancient Wisdom of Women. As a woman in midlife, I am no longer prepared to fade into the background as I get older. I am determined that older women should take our rightful place in society as wise elders. What is a wise woman? The Wise Woman archetype can be found throughout many cultures and religions. She is often seen as a powerful, wise figure who can help and guide...
by Judith Stafford | Sep 8, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Making Midlife the Best Time Ever When I started writing about being in my 50s, I couldn’t find a word that I liked to describe my age. The ones I did see were not very inspiring: Middle-aged (often used as an insult for being dull and boring) Mid-life (associated with ‘crisis’) Mature (what, like a cheddar?) Menopausal or even worse, Post-Menopausal (yuk, far too clinical) Crone (too old and warty) Which is when I decided on ‘wise woman’. I don’t really want to be any of the above, but I do quite like being a wise woman. Then, as I looked at what a wise woman was, I found that many images came to mind. A healer or midwife A shaman or medicine woman A Fairy Godmother An elder stateswoman or leader A witch or crone They all represent an older woman with a certain amount of skill and power, so I knew I was onto a winning name. So now, I want to reclaim the title wise woman for all women at or past menopause. Women living their best lives If you look up the word wisdom, it means ‘someone who has the experience, knowledge and good judgement.’ But I would also include the following as traits of the wise: Being authentic and trusting your intuition Learning from your mistakes Being independent and resourceful Open to learning new things They are non-judgemental as they are aware that they are not perfect Wanting to work for the common good rather than self-interest It is not easy to follow this path, and we will often fall short, but that does...
by Judith Stafford | Apr 6, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
At least without thinking about it We have all been there. Wondering what happened to that bright young thing you used to be and if there is any way you can bring back that spark into your life. But before you do anything rash that you might regret, stop, and think about what you are doing. Make sure you know what it is you really want and understand the underlying problem. Here are six things that you have to avoid doing on the spur of the moment. I’m not saying you can’t do these things at all. Just that you really need to understand what you are doing and why before you do anything drastic. Pack in your job You’ve been doing the same job for the last 10 years and you’re bored. You don’t care about promotions anymore, you think the company sucks, your manager is an idiot, and your job just seems pointless. What you really want to do is to tell them all to get stuffed and go off and become an artist, a writer or join a band. You have still got dreams. Anything rather than sit at the same desk with the same people doing the same thing, again and again, every day until you retire or die. Leave your partner You have been together forever, built a home, raised the kids, and had some great times. But now you seem to have nothing in common, you argue all the time, and can’t remember the last time you enjoyed each other’s company. In fact, if you have to watch him or her, lying...
by Judith Stafford | Feb 3, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Regeneration is for Women in Midlife Too many of us view getting older as an ending. The end of youth, the end of fertility, the end of periods (hurray!) and even the end of our attractiveness and visibility to men. I think this is a shame. Despite what many people think, there are benefits to getting older. Instead of seeing ageing in terms of loss, we should see it as a transition. One that opens up new opportunities to the way we live our lives. The second half of our life should be seen as a transition, not an ending Life naturally moves in cycles. Women especially, move from one phase to another through their lives. We shouldn’t see any of these stages as better or worse than the others but accept that each stage has a different emphasis. During our 40s and 50s, we experience one of those transitions, the most obvious symptom of which is menopause. This is natural, and instead of fighting it, we should embrace it. When we do, midlife can be a time of renewal and regeneration. It may seem strange to have the second half of your life described as a time of renewal and regeneration. But what I mean by this is that we experience a renewal of our relationship with ourselves. Our regeneration happens, not in a Dr Who way (although, that would be fun) but as a form of rebirth. Where we throw off the restraints and shackles of who and what society says we are supposed to be we can truly become ourselves. Ageing as a mindset It is easy...
by Judith Stafford | Jun 1, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman
It will happen anyway, so you may as well embrace it. Just lately, I have been thinking about change. Some of the people close to me have been going through significant changes, and it has got me thinking about what makes me happy, how I can feel more content in life and looking at what I have to change to make this happen. I have been through some significant changes in the last few years. I have moved town twice, retrained, changed my job, and moved in with my partner. Things have changed a great deal, and mainly for the better. Yet still, some things could be better, and I would like to make this happen. We have an odd relationship with change; it can be scary. We are told that change is a good thing and that we should strive to change ourselves, our lives and our circumstances if we are not happy with them. But is this always a good idea? Is change good or bad? Is change always a good thing? If you are unhappy with something, should you change it? What about changes that are forced on you, such as losing a job or a partner? What would you call a ‘good’ change? Is it one you initiated yourself, or that turned out well? How about bad changes? Are they the ones that were forced on you or ones that did not improve your life? There are different types of change. We have no control over some traumatic changes, such as the death of a loved one or losing your job. More trivial changes, like...
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