Is change always good?

Just lately I have been thinking about change. Some of the people close to me have been going through big changes and it has got me thinking about what makes me happy, how I can feel more content in life and looking at what I have to change to make this happen.

I have been through some big changes in the last few years. I have moved town twice, retrained and changed my job and moved in with my partner. Things have changed a great deal, and mostly for the better. Yet still, there are things that could be better, and I would like to make this happen.

We have an odd relationship with change, it can be scary. We are told that change is a good thing, that we should strive to change ourselves, our lives and our circumstances if we are not happy with them. But is this always a good idea?

Is change good or bad?

Is change always a good thing? If you are unhappy with something should you just change it? What about changes that are forced on you such as losing a job or a partner?

What would you call a ‘good’ change, is it one you initiated yourself or that turned out well? How about bad changes, are they the ones that were forced on you or ones that did not improve our life?

There are different types of change. Some traumatic changes we have no control over such as the death of a loved one or losing your job. More trivial changes like a change in the style of your favourite jeans or Facebook changing the way it shows posts, you also have no control over, but they aren’t really going to change your life, they are just irritating.

But what about the changes we make happen, those we have some control over?

It depends on why we are changing. If you are changing your hair colour because you are bored then this is ok. It is easy enough to change it back if you don’t like it. If you are changing your partner because you are bored then this may not be the best way to solve your problem. There may be a better way.

Change itself is neither good nor bad. It is how we anticipate and cope with it that really matters. Our attitudes to change differ greatly, some people thrive on it and others are terrified of it.

The thing with change is that it will happen if we want it to or not.

Change for the sake of change can become a habit if we are always thinking that the ‘grass is greener’. If we are changing something because we are not happy we need to look at whether that change will make us happier or if we are really just running away from a problem.

Before we make big changes we should look closely at why we want this change and what the consequences will be. This will ensure that we create positive changes for the right reasons. When changes are forced on us we must accept them and look at how we can make the most of them. It is much better to use them to help us grow instead of fearing them and looking at the negative effects.

How change can make us better

For most of us, change means stepping outside our comfort zone. But embracing change can make us better people.

    • It can help us to grow.
    • Makes us stronger
    • Make us more flexible
    • Brings us new experiences
    • It challenges you
    • Shakes up our routines
    • Brings new opportunities

What am I going to do?

woman in a van enjoying being by herselfTherefore, I am going to look at where I feel most dissatisfied in life and see how I can improve it. This will include the following steps:

    1. Looking at my limiting beliefs and negative thoughts
    2. Challenging them before I can make any changes.
    3. After this, I will decide what it is I want from this area of my life
    4. Then finally how I intend to make it work.

It won’t be easy, but in the long term, it will give me something to aim for that will make my life more fulfilling.

How about you? How do you feel around change and how do you think it has improved your life? Is there anything you would like to change?

If you want help in making midlife your best time yet my How to Become a Wise Woman e-course will help you with this and many other dilemmas.

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