by Judith Stafford | Feb 15, 2022 | Becoming a Wise Woman
It is time to embrace the Wise Woman. Looking around, I see many of my contemporaries, women over 50, eagerly reclaiming their power. Older women are refusing to fade into the background. Instead, we are using our experience and wisdom to create a better life for everyone. When I was younger, I didn’t notice how older women were treated. My mother and her friends didn’t appear oppressed; they just got on with their lives. She and a friend travelled around the world in their 60s, so I didn’t see getting older as a handicap. But as I got older myself, I noticed the misogyny, prejudice and negative stereotypes experienced by women as they aged. This really annoyed me. Getting older doesn’t seem to hold men back. They are still respected and considered sexy, even with grey hair and a paunch! The same cannot be said for women. Things are slowly changing. If you look around, you will see many more women over 50 in positions of power and influence. We are also more visible in the media, but there is still a long way to go. In response to this and my journey into middle age, I created the Ancient Wisdom of Women. As a woman in midlife, I am no longer prepared to fade into the background as I get older. I am determined that older women should take our rightful place in society as wise elders. What is a wise woman? The Wise Woman archetype can be found throughout many cultures and religions. She is often seen as a powerful, wise figure who can help and guide...
by Judith Stafford | Aug 17, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Six Things to do in midlife - whether you’re having a crisis or not! I think getting older has its benefits. It may not feel like it if you are going through the physical and emotional upheaval of perimenopause. But midlife isn’t just about menopause, it brings life changes that we should embrace and take full advantage of. In a recent post, I wrote about what not to do if you were having a midlife crisis. This post lists several things that I think you should be doing instead. The list isn’t definitive, I’m sure there are many more, but here are some suggestions for you to think about. 1. Define your own happiness As we get older priorities often change. The things that might have made you happy before, your job, buying new things or dedicating your time to bringing up a family may alter. Children leave home (hopefully!), jobs become less satisfying and the joy of consumerism dims. And that is ok, it is natural for things to change. But it is not always easy for us to know how to adapt when they do. You may feel guilty because you feel you should be happy with what you have got, especially if it was what you thought you always wanted. Or you may be aware of a desire for change but unsure of what to do about it and you are feeling stuck. Either way, the first thing you need to do is to accept that we all change and that it is ok to want something different. Then you need to decide what it is...
by Judith Stafford | Apr 6, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
At least without thinking about it We have all been there. Wondering what happened to that bright young thing you used to be and if there is any way you can bring back that spark into your life. But before you do anything rash that you might regret, stop, and think about what you are doing. Make sure you know what it is you really want and understand the underlying problem. Here are six things that you have to avoid doing on the spur of the moment. I’m not saying you can’t do these things at all. Just that you really need to understand what you are doing and why before you do anything drastic. Pack in your job You’ve been doing the same job for the last 10 years and you’re bored. You don’t care about promotions anymore, you think the company sucks, your manager is an idiot, and your job just seems pointless. What you really want to do is to tell them all to get stuffed and go off and become an artist, a writer or join a band. You have still got dreams. Anything rather than sit at the same desk with the same people doing the same thing, again and again, every day until you retire or die. Leave your partner You have been together forever, built a home, raised the kids, and had some great times. But now you seem to have nothing in common, you argue all the time, and can’t remember the last time you enjoyed each other’s company. In fact, if you have to watch him or her, lying...
by Judith Stafford | Mar 2, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Why Life is great as you get older - Part 1 Now is the best time to take a good, hard look at who you are and begin healing those old emotional wounds. By the time you reach midlife, you will have had many experiences, some good, some bad and many, many in-between. You will have run the whole gamut of emotions, including joy, sorrow, anger, fear, hope, gratitude, contentment, anxiety, guilt, inspiration, and indifference, to name but a few. Some of these negative feelings and the experiences that created them may need processing in order to live a satisfying, fulfilling life without regrets. Midlife is the perfect time to examine the experiences that have had the most significant adverse effect on our lives. By now, we should have the skills and the maturity to see what happened more objectively and accept and forgive ourselves and others for the pain caused. Many events in our lives can upset us, and if repeated, they can lead to destructive behaviour and bad habits. If we want to have the best possible time during the second half of our lives, we must process some of the bad habits and limiting beliefs we have accumulated that are holding us back. This might seem daunting, and I do not suggest you try to deal with everything simultaneously. But there will almost certainly be particular behavioural patterns that you recognise in yourself that you would like to change. The most frequent include: Self-sabotage Feeling unloved or unlovable Procrastination and perfectionism People pleasing Negative self-talk Refusing to ask for or accept help Blaming others Not feeling...
by Judith Stafford | May 15, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Featured
What is a Wise Woman and why you should want to be one. When I started writing about being in my 50s, I couldn’t find a word that I liked to describe my age. The ones I did find were not very inspiring: Middle-aged (often used as an insult for being dull and boring) Mid-life (associated with ‘crisis’) Mature (what, like a cheddar?) Menopausal or even worse Post-Menopausal (yuk, far too clinical) Crone (too old and warty) Which is when I decided on ‘wise woman’. I don’t really want to be any of the above; I quite like being a wise woman. Then as I started to look at what a wise woman was, I found that several images came to mind. A healer or midwife A shaman or medicine woman A Fairy Godmother An elder stateswoman or leader A witch or crone They all represent an older woman with a certain amount of skill and power, so I knew I was onto a winning name. So now, I want to reclaim the title Wise Woman for all women at or past menopause. Have you taken the Quiz yet? If you are curious to find your Wise Woman Archetype, take my fun quiz and find out here. Take the Quiz How you can become a wise woman If you look up the word wisdom, it means ‘someone who has the experience, knowledge and good judgement.’ But I would also include the following as traits of the wise: Being authentic and trusting your intuition Learning from your mistakes Being independent and resourceful Open to learning new things Is non-judgemental...
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