by Judith Stafford | Feb 3, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Regeneration is for Women in Midlife Too many of us view getting older as an ending. The end of youth, the end of fertility, the end of periods (hurray!) and even the end of our attractiveness and visibility to men. I think this is a shame. Despite what many people think, there are benefits to getting older. Instead of seeing ageing in terms of loss, we should see it as a transition. One that opens up new opportunities to the way we live our lives. The second half of our life should be seen as a transition, not an ending Life naturally moves in cycles. Women especially, move from one phase to another through their lives. We shouldn’t see any of these stages as better or worse than the others but accept that each stage has a different emphasis. During our 40s and 50s, we experience one of those transitions, the most obvious symptom of which is menopause. This is natural, and instead of fighting it, we should embrace it. When we do, midlife can be a time of renewal and regeneration. It may seem strange to have the second half of your life described as a time of renewal and regeneration. But what I mean by this is that we experience a renewal of our relationship with ourselves. Our regeneration happens, not in a Dr Who way (although, that would be fun) but as a form of rebirth. Where we throw off the restraints and shackles of who and what society says we are supposed to be we can truly become ourselves. Ageing as a mindset It is easy...
by Judith Stafford | Jan 12, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
How do you feel about your age? Happy, Unhappy, Ambivalent? You are not alone if you don’t feel happy about getting older. For many women, the years between 40 and 60 (or even 70 nowadays) are a time of change, physical, emotional, and spiritual, and that change is rarely welcomed. And no wonder! Look at the words used to describe older women. Old bag Hag Cougar Crone Mutton Menopausal It is hard to find any positive words to describe us – cougar is the best we can hope for! When I am talking about myself, I tend to use the words, mid-life and second half of life to describe this period in our lives, but the word I have embraced for myself, and I would like you to as well, is ‘wise woman’. I think this is a good word to describe us as we get older. Wisdom is something that comes with age – hopefully! Therefore, it is a wonderfully positive way to portray us as we age - growing in power rather than losing it. Our identity and who we are isn’t necessarily something we think much about when we get past our teens – when we are obsessed with it! We are usually too busy being mothers, having jobs and building a life. But as we get older, children grow up and leave home, jobs become may be less exciting and we become perimenopausal and then experience menopause, how we feel about our lives can change. Menopause marks the end of our fertility. It is a definite marker in our lives that men do not have....
by Judith Stafford | Aug 27, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Do you really want to be ‘Hot at 50’? Not if I have to give up cheese and wine! Hey girls, isn’t it great to see that you can still be ‘Hot’ at 50 or even 60? Just look at Sharon Stone, Halle Berry, Courtney Cox, Liz Hurley and Jennifer Aniston looking fabulous photographed in their bikinis, with bodies many 20-year-olds would envy! Surely this is a good thing? It shows you can look fantastic at any age. I’m not sure. If it is so great, then why do I feel so uneasy about it? The women above all work in the entertainment industry – they depend upon the way they look for their work. I really do think it is great – for them, but maybe not for the rest of us mere mortal women. How many women do you know who have flat stomachs, no wrinkles, cellulite, or flabby bits? I know women over 50 who are fit and slim, but they don’t look like that. So, just how easy is it to look like Sharon Stone at 60 and could I look like that too? Ageing Naturally Our bodies naturally change as we get older, so trying to look like we did at 20 is not realistic. In the run-up to menopause our body shape changes due to hormone fluctuations. Fat is distributed differently; it moves from our hips and breasts to our waists. Our metabolism slows down, so we need to eat less and this makes it easy to put on weight and harder to shift it when it is there. This change is...
by Judith Stafford | Jun 1, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman
It will happen anyway, so you may as well embrace it. Just lately, I have been thinking about change. Some of the people close to me have been going through significant changes, and it has got me thinking about what makes me happy, how I can feel more content in life and looking at what I have to change to make this happen. I have been through some significant changes in the last few years. I have moved town twice, retrained, changed my job, and moved in with my partner. Things have changed a great deal, and mainly for the better. Yet still, some things could be better, and I would like to make this happen. We have an odd relationship with change; it can be scary. We are told that change is a good thing and that we should strive to change ourselves, our lives and our circumstances if we are not happy with them. But is this always a good idea? Is change good or bad? Is change always a good thing? If you are unhappy with something, should you change it? What about changes that are forced on you, such as losing a job or a partner? What would you call a ‘good’ change? Is it one you initiated yourself, or that turned out well? How about bad changes? Are they the ones that were forced on you or ones that did not improve your life? There are different types of change. We have no control over some traumatic changes, such as the death of a loved one or losing your job. More trivial changes, like...
by Judith Stafford | May 15, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Featured
What is a Wise Woman and why you should want to be one. When I started writing about being in my 50s, I couldn’t find a word that I liked to describe my age. The ones I did find were not very inspiring: Middle-aged (often used as an insult for being dull and boring) Mid-life (associated with ‘crisis’) Mature (what, like a cheddar?) Menopausal or even worse Post-Menopausal (yuk, far too clinical) Crone (too old and warty) Which is when I decided on ‘wise woman’. I don’t really want to be any of the above; I quite like being a wise woman. Then as I started to look at what a wise woman was, I found that several images came to mind. A healer or midwife A shaman or medicine woman A Fairy Godmother An elder stateswoman or leader A witch or crone They all represent an older woman with a certain amount of skill and power, so I knew I was onto a winning name. So now, I want to reclaim the title Wise Woman for all women at or past menopause. Have you taken the Quiz yet? If you are curious to find your Wise Woman Archetype, take my fun quiz and find out here. Take the Quiz How you can become a wise woman If you look up the word wisdom, it means ‘someone who has the experience, knowledge and good judgement.’ But I would also include the following as traits of the wise: Being authentic and trusting your intuition Learning from your mistakes Being independent and resourceful Open to learning new things Is non-judgemental...
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