by Judith Stafford | Mar 2, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Why Life is great as you get older - Part 1 Now is the best time to take a good, hard look at who you are and begin healing those old emotional wounds. By the time you reach midlife, you will have had many experiences, some good, some bad and many, many in-between. You will have run the whole gamut of emotions, including joy, sorrow, anger, fear, hope, gratitude, contentment, anxiety, guilt, inspiration, and indifference, to name but a few. Some of these negative feelings and the experiences that created them may need processing in order to live a satisfying, fulfilling life without regrets. Midlife is the perfect time to examine the experiences that have had the most significant adverse effect on our lives. By now, we should have the skills and the maturity to see what happened more objectively and accept and forgive ourselves and others for the pain caused. Many events in our lives can upset us, and if repeated, they can lead to destructive behaviour and bad habits. If we want to have the best possible time during the second half of our lives, we must process some of the bad habits and limiting beliefs we have accumulated that are holding us back. This might seem daunting, and I do not suggest you try to deal with everything simultaneously. But there will almost certainly be particular behavioural patterns that you recognise in yourself that you would like to change. The most frequent include: Self-sabotage Feeling unloved or unlovable Procrastination and perfectionism People pleasing Negative self-talk Refusing to ask for or accept help Blaming others Not feeling...
by Judith Stafford | Feb 3, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Regeneration is for Women in Midlife Too many of us view getting older as an ending. The end of youth, the end of fertility, the end of periods (hurray!) and even the end of our attractiveness and visibility to men. I think this is a shame. Despite what many people think, there are benefits to getting older. Instead of seeing ageing in terms of loss, we should see it as a transition. One that opens up new opportunities to the way we live our lives. The second half of our life should be seen as a transition, not an ending Life naturally moves in cycles. Women especially, move from one phase to another through their lives. We shouldn’t see any of these stages as better or worse than the others but accept that each stage has a different emphasis. During our 40s and 50s, we experience one of those transitions, the most obvious symptom of which is menopause. This is natural, and instead of fighting it, we should embrace it. When we do, midlife can be a time of renewal and regeneration. It may seem strange to have the second half of your life described as a time of renewal and regeneration. But what I mean by this is that we experience a renewal of our relationship with ourselves. Our regeneration happens, not in a Dr Who way (although, that would be fun) but as a form of rebirth. Where we throw off the restraints and shackles of who and what society says we are supposed to be we can truly become ourselves. Ageing as a mindset It is easy...
by Judith Stafford | May 15, 2020 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Featured
What is a Wise Woman and why you should want to be one. When I started writing about being in my 50s, I couldn’t find a word that I liked to describe my age. The ones I did find were not very inspiring: Middle-aged (often used as an insult for being dull and boring) Mid-life (associated with ‘crisis’) Mature (what, like a cheddar?) Menopausal or even worse Post-Menopausal (yuk, far too clinical) Crone (too old and warty) Which is when I decided on ‘wise woman’. I don’t really want to be any of the above; I quite like being a wise woman. Then as I started to look at what a wise woman was, I found that several images came to mind. A healer or midwife A shaman or medicine woman A Fairy Godmother An elder stateswoman or leader A witch or crone They all represent an older woman with a certain amount of skill and power, so I knew I was onto a winning name. So now, I want to reclaim the title Wise Woman for all women at or past menopause. Have you taken the Quiz yet? If you are curious to find your Wise Woman Archetype, take my fun quiz and find out here. Take the Quiz How you can become a wise woman If you look up the word wisdom, it means ‘someone who has the experience, knowledge and good judgement.’ But I would also include the following as traits of the wise: Being authentic and trusting your intuition Learning from your mistakes Being independent and resourceful Open to learning new things Is non-judgemental...
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