by Judith Stafford | Jun 6, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Self-Help
You can do it! We will all encounter difficulties in our lives, but how we deal with our problems is more important than the problem itself. Everyone suffers setbacks at some time in life, usually more than once. The obstacles are not the problem, but how we react to them is what affects us most. If you are going to learn how to overcome setbacks, it is crucial to understand the different types that can occur and how to deal with them. There are three main types: situational, personal, and professional. Situational setbacks are usually due to external factors such as economic recession or natural disasters. Personal setbacks are caused by problems with relationships or health. Professional setbacks are down to poor performance or lack of success in a particular field. Each setback is unique and requires a different approach. There are many ways to overcome setbacks. The most important thing is to stay positive and keep moving forward. Here are five tips to help you to deal with a setback: Step 1: Acknowledge the setback When faced with a setback, it can be tempting to bury your head in the sand and hope the problem will disappear. Spoiler Alert - it never does! However, if you want to overcome setbacks and move forward with your life, it’s essential to acknowledge them and act based on what you’ve learned. Once you acknowledge a setback and start to face the problem, then there is a possibility that you will be able to overcome it. It also means recognising that you’re not alone – other people have been through similar experiences...
by Judith Stafford | May 18, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
Yes, you are! Stop asking this question and quiet your inner critic. How often have you avoided doing something because you were worried about what people might think or believed what you were doing was not good enough? Many people, especially women, feel they are not good enough, not pretty enough, not clever enough, not rich enough, or not successful enough. Sometimes, what you do doesn’t matter; it just isn’t good enough. There are numerous reasons to feel this way. Maybe your parents had extremely high standards that you could never attain. At school, it didn’t matter how well you did; you never lived up to their expectations. Maybe they could have hoped for you to become a doctor or lawyer or follow in their footsteps somehow, but you were just not interested, and they did not bother to hide their disappointment. Maybe your sibling excelled at sports, music or chemistry, but you were only good at art, and they could not see any value in that. There are endless reasons, but the result of this tends to be a very harsh inner critic constantly reminding you that you are unworthy. Unworthy of love, of success or of just being happy. No one is immune to this. Even people who appear brimming with confidence sail through life without a care in the world while achieving great things without seemingly trying. You can bet they occasionally have a little devil on their shoulder telling them they are worthless. Years ago, I started creating a course on fairy tales and archetypes, but this course was never completed and never released. The...
by Judith Stafford | May 16, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman, Self-Help
Five steps to help you set personal boundaries Healthy boundaries are essential in any relationship. They protect us from being controlled and manipulated and help us to feel comfortable and happy. However, sometimes it can be difficult to do so. Before you do this, you need to be clear about what you want and don’t want from the relationship. Make sure you’re crystal clear about your expectations for the relationship, both verbally and nonverbally. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or tension later on. Here are some ways to help: Step 1: Understand what healthy boundaries are What are healthy boundaries? Healthy boundaries are the lines that you draw in your life that protect you from being taken advantage of or hurt. They help you to manage your own emotions and stay in control of your relationships. There are different ways to set boundaries, but the most important thing is to be clear about what you want and need from your relationships. Some things to think about when setting boundaries include: What is too much for me?What does this person do or say that makes me feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable? How will this person treat me if I don’t follow these rules?Will they be understanding and supportive, or angry and punitive? Step 2: Identify where and with who you need to set boundaries Setting boundaries can be difficult in any relationship, but especially in close ones. It can be tricky to know where to draw the line between being supportive and enabling someone else’s unhealthy behaviour. Here are some tips for identifying where and with whom you need to...
by Judith Stafford | Apr 6, 2021 | Becoming a Wise Woman
At least without thinking about it We have all been there. Wondering what happened to that bright young thing you used to be and if there is any way you can bring back that spark into your life. But before you do anything rash that you might regret, stop, and think about what you are doing. Make sure you know what it is you really want and understand the underlying problem. Here are six things that you have to avoid doing on the spur of the moment. I’m not saying you can’t do these things at all. Just that you really need to understand what you are doing and why before you do anything drastic. Pack in your job You’ve been doing the same job for the last 10 years and you’re bored. You don’t care about promotions anymore, you think the company sucks, your manager is an idiot, and your job just seems pointless. What you really want to do is to tell them all to get stuffed and go off and become an artist, a writer or join a band. You have still got dreams. Anything rather than sit at the same desk with the same people doing the same thing, again and again, every day until you retire or die. Leave your partner You have been together forever, built a home, raised the kids, and had some great times. But now you seem to have nothing in common, you argue all the time, and can’t remember the last time you enjoyed each other’s company. In fact, if you have to watch him or her, lying...
by Judith Stafford | Mar 29, 2021 | Into the Woods, Recipes
Spring Tonics I love this time of year. Leaves are in bud on the trees and the woodland and meadow plants are just starting to come up. Before long the floor will be overgrown with ivy, brambles and ferns but, for just a few weeks, spring flowers are in bloom and the countryside looks fresh and renewed. Many of the plants that are around this time of year can be used as a spring tonic. Nature has provided just what we need after winter. Before we imported food from around the world plants like stinging nettles, wild garlic, cleavers and dandelions have been enjoyed as cleansing herbs helping eliminate toxins from out body. Much cheaper and pleasant to eat or drink than some of the health shop detox products, these plants all contain lots of nutrients. They are rich in iron and other vitamins and minerals which we can use to give our immune system a boost. The plants mentioned below can be used fresh, which is best when possible, or can be frozen or dried. The exception is cleavers which should be used fresh. Nettles Nettles have more protein than any other native plant as well as many of the minerals our body needs to stay healthy. They can be added to soups and stews, made into tea or beer. You probably don’t want to eat them raw though as the sting is only neutralised after cooking! There is a knack to picking them without getting stung, but I find rubber gloves help. Nettle soup This soup is delicious and fresh tasting and full of vitamins. Pick a...
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